Top 76 Unanswered Rock’n'Roll Questions

  1. If Jim Morrison were alive, would he regret saying ‘do it, Robbie, do it’ before the guitar solo in ‘Roadhouse Blues’? 
  2. Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy knew there was going to be a jailbreak, but did ever figure out a more precise location for a jailbreak than ‘somewhere in this town’?
  3. Do the David Bowie/Mick Jagger wink-wink rumors have anything to do with the pants choices in the ‘Dancing in the Street’ video?
  4. What’s a ‘Sussudio’? 
  5. Has anyone goofed more than Drivin’ N Cryin’, who traded up their punky garage band sound for a glossier metal exactly 10 minutes before Nirvana released ‘Nevermind’? 
  6. Who’s that little guy who played with Steve Miller? Can we get more of that guy?
  7. Does anyone remember laughter?
  8. What headband says ‘this is my head, f— you’ more: guy in Dire Straits, Nils Lofgren, Stevie Van Zandt?
  9. What percentage of Ramones fans have ever heard a Ramones album? Guessing under 10%. 
  10. Joe Strummer doesn’t really say ‘rock the Casbah’ in ‘Rock the Casbah’ right? 
  11. Should Billy Joel pay a fine for doing that fake Italian accent in ‘Big Shot’? You know, the part where he goes, ‘but you hadta be such a biiig shot, didncha’? 
  12. Actually how big should the fine be Billy Joel pays for that fake Italian accent in ‘Big Shot’?
  13. When does Journey’s ‘Lights’ take place? ‘When the lights go down in the city, and the sun shines on the bay.’ Seriously. By ‘lights’ are we talking street lights? Were they on all night, and the sun’s rising. Or are people prematurely shutting off lights at dusk? I guess there are some things that will never be answered. (Steve Perry originally wrote this about bay-less LA!) 
  14. Did it have to be Phil Collins who got to play both Live Aid concerts? 
  15. Is it possible to ‘hurt so good’? 
  16. Can we have a redux version of the Cranberries’ ‘Zombie’ where Dolores O’Riordan doesn’t sing ‘and the bombs’ twice in a row? Please? 
  17. Why does Mick Jagger say ‘one more time’ five times in ‘Get Off My Cloud’? 
  18. How exactly do you get on someone’s cloud? 
  19. How can you exterminate a bustle in your hedgerow? 
  20. Is saffron really crazy about Donovan? 
  21. Why in the world didn’t Stevie Nicks sing all of Fleetwood Mac’s songs? 
  22. Chris Gaines is Garth Brooks, right? 
  23. Why do people think Rush has smart lyrics? (See ‘Necromancer,’ ‘Cygnus-X1,’ all the others.) 
  24. Which is the most embarrassing song of all time, ‘Shiny Happy People,’ ‘Stand’ or ‘Everybody Hurts’?
  25. What’s the song ‘Beautiful Girls’ about? 
  26. How did bearded producer Jeff Lynne trick everyone from Roy Orbison to the Beatles to giving that ‘Jeff Lynne’ sound to their latter-day records?
  27. Have they figured out it’s f*cking Christmas yet? 
  28. In the Rolling Stones ‘Waiting on a Friend’ video, after Mick and Keith leave the St Marks Place stoop of the building used on the Led Zeppelin ‘Physical Graffiti’ album cover, and walk down to the bar on the corner, they pass a window and smirk at a guy with a short, bleach-blond buzz haircut in the window, and the camera lingers on him. Why?
  29. What’s the Divinyl’s song ‘When I Think About You I Touch Myself’ about?
  30. Is it OK to sing about ‘turning the page’ and take a stab at the ‘same old cliches’ in the same song? Even with a beard? #seger
  31. John Oates? 
  32. Who’d win in a fight, the other guy in Wham or the other guy in Tears for Fears? 
  33. If San Francisco was really built on rock and roll, why doesn’t it have the hall of fame? Or more memorable rock bands? 
  34. Is everything really all right?
  35. Couldn’t Paul McCartney been even more specific, in ‘Live and Let Die,’ about which world we live in? (lyric: ‘in this world in which we live in’) 
  36. Is this acceptable? (Pink Floyd sax player.) #mullet
  37. When Scandal Featuring Patti Smith gets inducted to the rock’n'roll hall of fame, will it be as Scandal, Patti Smith or Scandal Featuring Patti Smith?
  38. Is Brian Johnson singing, in his little hat, for AC/DC the single greatest sequel — movie or band — of all time?
  39. Who told Boston it’s OK to do double-octave guitar solos? 
  40. Did Huey Lewis ever find a new drug?
  41. What are the emotions of Paul Rodgers in the song ‘Feel Like Makin’ Love’? 
  42. Does Lou Reed think he got away with rhyming ‘vile’ and ‘vial’ in ‘Vicious’? 
  43. In the Lou Reed song ‘Bottoming Out’ he revisits a crash site ‘by that old tree and the dead squirrel that I hit’ – was the squirrel already dead when he hit it? 
  44. Is their a correlation between the so-called ‘greatest album’ of all time – Beatles’ ‘Sgt Peppers’ – and the fact that all band members have moustaches? 
  45. Where did Haircut 100 get their name?
  46. Can Chuck Leavell — a bearded Birminghamian who once put an electronic triangle on a live version of ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ — finally leave the Rolling Stones?
  47. Why would anyone not named Angus Young EVER consider wearing shorts on stage? 
  48. What exactly is a lemon squeezer? 
  49. What does it mean when the Who sing ‘you better you bet’?
  50. Does everyone really have to get stoned? 
  51. Where can you get blue suede shoes?
  52. Did .38 Special really need two drummers? 
  53. Is it time to stop the whole band-without-a-bass-player thing? (The bass rules.)
  54. In Billy Ocean’s ‘Get Out of My Dreams (And Into My Car)’ does that mean Billy was asleep in his car? And was the before or after his career tanked?
  55. Are the dancers in Billy Joel’s ‘Allentown’ mortified by this video
  56. Is it time to formally admit that the ‘90s are the new ‘80s, and basically sucked worse than any rock-era decade?
  57. Have you ever seen the rain coming down on a sunny day?
  58. Why is ‘Panama’ called ‘Panama’? 
  59. Is it necessary to ask a crowd who has paid $100 for a concert ticket if they want to rock?
  60. Can rock ever trump the fact that a flamboyantly bisexual singer born in Zanzibar and raised in India created the song heard at every sporting event in the world? (Freddie Mercury.)
  61. Can Peter Frampton and all his music go away? 
  62. Did the blind girl in the ‘Hello’ video ever file a harassment suit against Lionel Ritchie?
  63. Does Mick Jagger really think that we think he can dance? 
  64. Does every rose really have a thorn? 
  65. Remember in the ‘Patience’ video how an unteased-haired Axl Rose mocked his teased hair from the ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ video? Has Pearl Jam had that moment yet regarding the cover of their embarrassingly earnest ’10’ album cover? 
  66. Which Elton John song annoys us the most?
  67. Do you have to be down to sing the blues?
  68. Is this the best drum solo of all time? (Hungary’s Trabant.)
  69. What non-person is most mistaken as a real person: Pink Floyd, Jethro Tull, Uriah Heep or Lemmy?
  70. Why are English rock bands so much greater than American ones? 
  71. What’s more rock’n'roll: a drummer losing an arm, a singer choking on vomit, or everything Joan Jett?
  72. Is it time yet to admit that Ralph Macchio’s guitar solo in ‘Crossroads’ was pretty awesome?
  73. You know in ‘Rock You Like A Hurricane’ after Klaus Meine, and his hat, sing ‘here I am… rock you like a hurricane’ and he does that little squealing chant. Can we get subtitles? 
  74. There aren’t really amps that go to 11 are there?
  75. In ‘Idiot Wind,’ when Dylan sings ‘down the tracks’ at the 5:40 mark, the EQ sounds overloaded. Did he redub that one line, but just sang it without headphones because he was too lazy to go back into the studio and it briefly distorted the vocal quality?
  76. Why does Eric Clapton always flip us off when he plays bar chords?

About Robert Reid

Robert Reid is a travel writer (Lonely Planet, New York Times, ESPN), travel expert (Today Show, CNN's Headline News), travel videographer (76-Second Travel Show) and travel artist (don't ask).
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5 Responses to Top 76 Unanswered Rock’n'Roll Questions

  1. Trey Ravalli says:

    Actually, I think it will be “Patty Smyth” and Scandal. Still a going concern btw

  2. Answer to #34: No. That said, I’ve just fired up a lighter in honor of this delightful list, and hold it aloft in a room that’s both light and dark at the same time.

  3. Robert Reid says:

    Thanks for the Smyth correction. Had a feeling that way wrong. I was not the warrior at fact-checking.

  4. RobRob says:

    You left off perhaps the biggest: Can you tell me what a Wang Chung is?

  5. Robert Reid says:

    You’re right. I don’t think anyone knows what a Wang Chung is. Just that we all, collectively as a unit, have an urge to Wang Chung. Tonight.

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