How to count 2.8 million

Two million and eight hundred thousand.

Read that number. Think about it a minute. It’s such a big number that even its digitized version — 2.8 million — is hard to grasp.

We need to because, sorry fake news sites!, Don John Trump LOST the national popular count by that number. No, it doesn’t mean he isn’t going to become president. Or even doesn’t deserve to. But it’s important to realize the scope of the HILLARY WIN-GAP. And how, on a national scale, how many votes pretty much didn’t count. Nationally, Hillary won and won big.

Shouldn’t we allow ourselves to celebrate that fact for a minute?

Back to that number. (It’s huge!) Here are a ways to appreciate how big the win-gap is.

How can you visualize 2.8 million by war deaths?

In terms of deaths by war, 2.8 million is about equivalent to the number of Americans killed in the Revolutionary War, the Civil War (Confederates too), World War I, World War II, and the Korean and Vietnam Wars. COMBINED.

By time?

If you counted to 2.8 million at increments of a second, you’d need 778 hours — or 32.4 days — without pausing for water or tinkle breaks — to reach the mark. Try it. But brace yourself for one messy month.

By European farms?

By days, 2.8 million is equivalent to 7671 years, and 7671years ago was 5654BC, which is roughly when farming started in Europe. So the Hillary win-gap, in years, is roughly equal to the history of European farming. It’s a lot of olives.

By CEO bonuses?

The CEO for Wal Mart got an \$18 million bonus in 2015. So Hillary’s hard-to-grasp-how-big win-gap is worth, well, a mere 0.16 times the amount of a Wal Mart CEO bonus. That’s just the CEO’s bonus, guys.

By Tom Selleck’s moustache?

I’ve never counted the hairs of a man’s moustache. One estimate suggests there are 1000 active hair follicles per square inch, and so a three-square-inch moustache would have about 3000 hairs. You’d need 933 Tom Selleck moustaches to reach 2.8 million moustache hairs.

Note: Freddie Mercury moustaches would require roughly the same number.

By cities?

Houston plus Oklahoma City =  just under 2.8 million. That means, to gauge the win-gap, you’d have to make every single person in Houston and Oklahoma City DISAPPEAR.

Also note:

• Chicago = just under 2.8 million.
• Toronto = just under 2.8 million.
• Rome = about 2.8 million.

By holy words?

The King James version of the Bible has 783,137 words. You’d need to read each word, if you can stay awake, 3.58 times to make up for the Hillary win-gap. We’ll give you credit if you can even do that three times, as long as you count while you read and not look for gay-bashing quotes.

By Rolling Stones live and greatest hits albums?

Bands make albums, but not all are equal. The Rolling Stones, for instance, have released 25 studio albums in the USA — that is, with new versions of songs they wrote or borrowed. Then they sell other versions of these songs with live albums and greatest hits albums. It’s harder to count these, as there’s been scores of bootlegs, DVD concerts, weird spin-off hits packages that the band didn’t necessarily sign up to. It’s safe to say the Stones signed up for 11 of their live albums, and 13 of their hits packages. That’s 24 repurposed, marketing, quick-money albums versus 25 studio albums. To reach 2.8 million “marketing” Stones albums, you’d need the full career of the Rolling Stones, plus 112,000 additional Rolling Stones bands to do the same.

By an abacus?

We used to count by abacuses. Some people still use them. The first, called suanpan, came from China over 2000 years ago. Each has 70 beads. Unless you know how to use an abacus – and I know that you don’t — you need to count beads. To reach 2.8 million, you will need to collect 40,000 of these abacuses.

By dragstrip dollars?

One. The ¼-mile dragstrip in Hennessey, Texas costs just under \$2.8 million.